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Sunday, August 21, 2005

Bush Administration Faces a Possible Energy Crisis

As oil prices rise dramatically Vice President Dick Chaney and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld inform President Bush that this might be a problem:

Chaney: Mr President, Rummy and I have talked it over and think that you need to show the American people that you care about rising oil prices.

W.: They’re rising? Isn’t that good for business?

Rumsfeld: Well, for Exxon and a few other major oil producers, but in general, most people think it’s bad.

W.: Bad? Yeah, I can see that now. It’s pretty obvious. A moron can see that. Why didn’t I…

Chaney (interrupts): Mr. President we have a plan.

W.: Plans are good.

Chaney: Our plan is to…

W. (interrupts): Wait a minute Dick. I’ve been getting in a lot of trouble lately about your plans. They haven’t worked out so good.

Rumsfeld: Mr. President there are good plans and bad plans, good plans that go bad, bad plans that work out to be good, and sometimes failing to plan is a plan to fail, and sometimes failing to plan works out OK.

W.: Jesus, Rummy. Sometimes you’re so smart it scares me! Well anyway. I’m gonna pray about this just like I did with the Iraq thingy. My heavenly father will tell me what to do! See y’all later. I’ve got to get down to business here.

Rumsfeld and Chaney roll their eyes and leave.

W.: Dear Jesus, I’ve got a oil problem here.

Jesus: An energy crisis?

W.: Yeah, one of those.

Jesus: Well, Christians are supposed to live sacrificial lives. Why don’t you do the same thing I told Jimmy Carter to do?

W.: Jimmy Carter?

Jesus: Yes George, he was the president a few years back.

W.: Really? Oh, yeah. I knew that.

Jesus: I told him that it would be a good example to turn back the thermostat at the White House to 69 degrees and suggest that Americans do the same. You know, (chuckling) Jimmy turned it back to 68!

W.: I’m sort of getting to see the picture here. I gotta do something smart. Catchy!


W.: Pardon me here Jesus but didn’t you perform a sacrificial so I don’t have to?

Jesus: Oi Vay!

W.: Oh man, I got one! You know how my wife…

Jesus: Laura

W.: I knew that! How Laura always wants me to stay up later. What’s that thing called when we move the time around? It’s around Easter or Father’s Day or something?

Jesus: Daylight savings time?

W.: Yeah. I’ll talk to Chaney about it. He’ll let me know how it works. Somehow we stay up later at night, but go to bed earlier. That way we work less harder and save energy.

Jesus: How about just turning the thermostat down?

W.: Jesus, I mean no disrespect here, but I think I’m having another genius stroke here! I’ll get back to you later.

Later, after W. has shared his “stroke of genius” with Chaney. Chaney talks with Rumsfeld.

Chaney: Rummy, looks like George has had another brain fart.

Rumsfeld: I don’t know Dick. Could be a good idea if we explain it right.

They both laugh and say together: All our ideas are great when we explain them right!

Chaney: You’re right. It means no real sacrifice for anyone and it will f8ck Canada up really bad! I love it!


At 2:33 PM, Blogger lostnacfgop said...

Well Rev, this one was a hoot! Laugh out loud funny, right up until the time you catch hold and say, "Cr*p! That's probably closer to the truth than anybody'd want to admit." Then the laughter turns to sadness.


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